at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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