what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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