: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize