We're facebook friends in real life
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
