How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
