Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
