she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize