I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize