I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
