Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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