That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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