I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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