im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
