I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
