what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
