BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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