We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize