I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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