worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
