How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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