she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
