Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
