OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
