Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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