It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
