Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
