Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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