Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
