You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
