You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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