dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
