I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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