We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
