So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
