so explain again why im purple
no
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Who died my cat blue again?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize