those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
