she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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