Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
