Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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