Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
So many bounce houses so little time
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
