they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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