if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
