Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
