i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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