quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dick very happy bro
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
