I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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