babies were throwing up all over the place
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize