the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
