ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
