i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
