You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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