I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize