yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
