At least make sure they are 18
Why
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
