Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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