Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
