so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
