Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
